There are several key habits that we must develop if we want to grow in our spiritual maturity. Many habits are beneficial, but there are a few that I would classify as critical that we incorporate. Accountability is one of the crucial ones.

Accountability can be difficult, and especially for guys. Maybe it is because women seem to be able to understand relationships better than most men. I don’t know. But it can be tough for a man to build an accountable relationship with being very intentional about it.

But… If you can develop one accountable relationship, it will change your life. It really will. Unfortunately, most men live their lives without ever even attempting to build this type of relationship into their life and growth.

Accountability is, at it’s most basic level, simply an intentionally formed, deep friendship with someone who has permission to ask you some tough questions in and about your life. Proverbs 18:24, describes this kind of friendship very clearly:

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

If this is such a necessary part of our spiritual life, then there must be some benefits from developing such a relationship. Let me suggest four benefits, and then a few tips on how to incorporate accountability so it can be most impactful.

Accountability provides insight.

An accountability relationship builds to such a deep level that you can give and receive input, advice, and insights into your life, into the decisions you make, and the direction you are going. That’s because the relationship is at such a deep level, the other person knows you well, they know the real you, and their intent is to help you grow. They know all the deepest areas of your life, and have permission to give you input into those areas.

Accountability provides truth.

An accountability partner has the authority to speak truth into your life, especially in areas where you might be blind. It helps you to gain the proper perspective as you strive to become who God has designed you to be.

When I have a weak area, I’m typically not aware of it until someone points it out to me. And when that happens, I want it to come from someone who has my best interests in mind, and wants to see me grow through it and become a better person. So an accountability partner needs to be able to insert truth into whatever situation I might be facing.

Proverbs 27:6 tells us:

Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.

Accountability provides healing.

Many times, this healing comes from the truth that my accountability partner has just pointed out to me. But other times, it’s because he knows some of my greatest desires in my heart, and wants to help me achieve them. This gives me hope, because someone has come alongside of me, with my deepest dreams and goals, and has offered encouragement, wisdom, and assistance.

And they are there to help pick me up when I fail or fall short.

James is a practical book of practical wisdom, and in the fifth chapter, James gives us some more details about how accountability can help bring healing. In verse 16, he writes:

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

Being open to another person at such a deep level means they know all of your faults. And when they do, James says, that can bring about healing. Because they want the best for you. They are praying for you. And they are encouraging you to stick to the right path.

Accountability increases your faith.

This is where the spiritual growth really starts to become visible. When you start to build a deep, meaningful, accountable relationship, your faith is challenged and deepened, and it really begins to grow.

Proverbs 27:17 says simply:

Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

Building an accountability relationship will sharpen your faith.

So how do you do this? Here are a few of the things I have learned to incorporate into my accountability relationships over the years. These are some steps you can take to make sure you achieve success in this.

Meet together regularly. I suggest you meet weekly, and shoot for an hour or so together. Sometimes, it may last longer, and other times, you might need for it to be shorter. But a regular, consistent frequency is best.

Be honest with each other. Sometimes, you’ll need to speak truth forcefully. Other times, you may need to be more encouraging. Either way, be straightforward and honest with one another. Lying or trying to cover up your shortcomings will not help you grow. Be truthful. In my accountability relationships, we always end our time together with this question: “Did you lie about any of this to me?”

Admit your struggles. We all have them, so be open about them. Of course, make sure you know the other person well enough to trust them with such information first, but don’t pretend to be perfect, and open up about those areas where you need help and input.

Be encouraging. Accountability isn’t just a time to get together and beat one another up. You need to encourage one another too. When you build someone up, you make them stronger. Be their biggest fan in those areas they are succeeding in.

Pray together. This is probably the most important thing you can do. Pray with one another when you are together, and pray for one another when you aren’t. You cannot become the person God wants you to be without God’s help. So be in prayer for each other, frequently.

Accountability is like holding up a mirror to your life, and allowing someone else to stand and look at who you are and encourage you to fix those areas that need fixing, and to keep growing in those areas that are good. You’re giving that person the permission to come into your life and remind you of who you really want to be, and how you really want to grow. In order to do that, they need to have permission to dig into the deepest areas of your life.

But the results are spectacular. Your will grow spiritually in ways you have never dreamed possible. And you’ll avoid some nasty pitfalls along the way.

So start praying for God to lead you into an accountability relationship.

You’ll be glad you did.

Question: Do you have someone who has permission to speak into the deepest areas of your life? How has that been a benefit to your spiritual growth? You can leave a comment by clicking here.