Samuel Johnson
The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.
6 Healthy Responses To Negative Criticism
We all face it. It happens to each of us.
We are criticized, sometimes unfairly.
It’s reality. But how we respond to it makes all the difference in the world.
There are a couple different kinds of criticizers. All of them require you to think about how to respond appropriately. Otherwise, it can quickly degenerate into what feels like a sparring match.
First, there’s the person who criticizes something you do. As a youth minister, I occasionally experience this type of criticism. Sometimes it’s justified, other times it isn’t. Developing and implementing a successful youth ministry often results in someone being unhappy about something. You simply can’t satisfy everyone. Someone will not like a change being made, and they are likely to let you know. If approached correctly, this can be a very constructive experience.
Then there’s the person who criticizes you because of who you are or because of your beliefs. They don’t like something about your personality, or your beliefs, and that fuels their antagonism. Very rarely is this handled in a constructive manner.
Recently, I received an email questioning our statement of beliefs on our church website. Initially, my though was that this was someone interested in our church, who might have some questions that needed to be answered.
But after a few exchanges, I quickly realized that this guy was interested in nothing more than picking a theological fight. In more than twenty years of ministry, this is still a difficult position to find myself in. I find it easier to have a discussion with an atheist than one such as this. At least, in the case of an atheist, I know what side he’s on.
Book Review – Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart by J.D. Greear
Occasionally I find a book that leaves me asking more questions than it answers. Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart is just such a book.
Small, and a quick read, this book is an interesting dichotomy of good and bad.
While I found several things in here that challenged my thinking, much of the book is author J.D. Greear’s soapbox for eternal security and the sinner’s prayer with frequent tangents downplaying the idea of baptism.
While I believe that you can be sure of your salvation, much of Greear’s explanations run in circles and contradict themselves. This book leaves an unsatisfied feeling after finishing it, and it leaves you wondering.
I initially liked much of what Greear had to say, especially in the early chapters discussing our need for salvation and Jesus’ fulfillment of that need. But as the book progresses, Greear steps onto a soapbox about eternal security, the sinner’s prayer, and the role baptism plays. Much of this I disagree with theologically, but more than that, I felt like, had Greear been in the room, his voice would have been raised and he would be shouting.
Theological differences aside, I was not impressed with Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart. There are better books out there that deal with the topic of salvation. I wouldn’t recommend this one if you’re struggling with questions of this sort.
Have you read Stop Asking Jesus Into Your Heart? If so, what are your thoughts? You can leave your thoughts in the comments section below.
Disclosure of Material Connection:
I received this book free from B&H Publishing Group as part of their blogger review program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.“
Book Review – After You Drop Them Off by Jeramy Clark
One of the biggest parts of any youth ministry is connecting and working with parents. Parents are the lifeblood of any youth ministry, simply because the goal of youth ministry is to reach youth for Christ. What better way to do that than building relationships with parents?
However, parents often don’t see youth ministry the same way. Some see it as free babysitting; others see it as a way to separate the youth from the rest of the church, and yet still more view youth ministry as simply a Christian social time. Almost all of these misconceptions are because parents don’t understand what youth ministry is about, why it exists, and what happens in a youth ministry.
In order to address this lack of understanding, Jeramy Clark wrote After You Drop Them Off. This simple guide is designed to help parents understand the purpose and the necessity of a youth ministry, as well as what goes on there, and how they can get involved.
As a youth minister of more than twenty years, I found a mix of great information and not so great information in After You Drop Them Off.
Let’s start with the not so great first. Clark has several years of experience in youth ministry, and has done a great job of sharing what he’s learned. However, his experiences, his students, and his churches are not the same as every other youth minister out there. So, much of what he writes is simply generic, across the board, information. A lot of his suggestions simply wouldn’t work in the churches I’ve worked with.
That’s not necessarily bad; it’s just not great. Clark has written from his experiences, and has tried to make it applicable to churches and parents all over the country. But that doesn’t always work too well, and it doesn’t work well here either.
On the other hand, there are several great aspects to After You Drop Them Off. I found the chapters on praying for a youth ministry, dealing with disappointment, and constructive criticism especially helpful. I’ve dealt with parents who were disappointed or critical of the youth ministry, for whatever reasons, and it’s never easy handling such situations. Many of the parents I’ve worked with would have benefited greatly from these three chapters.
All in all, Clark has done a pretty good job of presenting youth ministry to parents who may not have any idea of what it is, how it operates, and why. While much of this book doesn’t translate well into every other ministry out there, there are still several portions that are excellent information for parents to know.
As a youth minister, I’m glad I read After You Drop Them Off. It allowed me to see things from a different perspective, helping me to reassess my ministry, making sure that I’m connecting with parents of students as best as I can.
If you have students in a youth ministry, especially if they are middle school or high school age, you would benefit from much of After You Drop Them Off. Grab a copy, read it, and then find a way you can support or be involved in the youth ministry your kids attend. It will help you, your kids, and your church’s youth ministry.
Do you volunteer or otherwise support your church’s youth ministry? If so, how are you involved? If not, are you willing to consider ways you can help out? You can leave your thoughts in the comments section below.
If you are interested in reading After You Drop Them Off, by Jeramy Clark, you can purchase it at Amazon.com in print or for Kindle.
Disclosure of Material Connection:
I received this book free from Multnomah Books as part of their Blogger Review Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. Also, some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links”. This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.“
Coffee Break – 02.04.2013
Darth Vader & His Moka Pot – Coffee Circle has a history of making creative videos, and this one does not disappoint. Using what they call the “vilest” of brewing methods, and perhaps the most famous personality from the dark side, this video explains how a moka pot can actually make great coffee. May the taste be with you!
Paperman – Full Animated Short Film – Animation technology continues ton get better and better. One day soon, the lines between real and animated will be next to invisible. It’s almost there already. With a new groundbreaking technology that seamlessly integrates computer animation with hand drawn images, this film shows a bit of the future that Disney is headed towards.
2012 Photomicrography Winners – God’s creation is beautiful even at the smallest level, as these photos show. Photomicrography is defined as images captured through magnification, such as through a microscope. The level of detail has greatly improved over the past few years, and these images are absolutely stunning.
Homemade Peanut Butter – Our family is trying to eat healthier and smarter. That means limiting things that are processed or may contain ingredients that we want to avoid, such as MSG, nitrates, and more. Peanuts are a healthy source of protein, but commercial peanut butter leaves a lot to be desired. So, make your own. You may never buy peanut butter again.
How A Nickel And A Paperboy Brought Down A Cold War Spy – As I’ve mentioned before, history is a favorite subject of mine. And stories like this one I find especially intriguing. Spies. Hollow coins. Micro photographs. It’s a pretty amazing story.
Five Promises For Your Bible Reading And Prayer – All too often, we go through the motions when it comes to our faith. We all do. But God’s Word contains some pretty amazing promises. The Desiring God website has identified five of them in this article that may prove to be a source of encouragement for you.
Small numbers make no difference to God. There is nothing small if God is in it. – D.L. Moody
Memorize Scripture: 1 Timothy 1:10-11
Last week, we started memorizing a passage that we will complete this week. In this first chapter of 1 Timothy, Paul is addressing the need, the use, and the benefits and drawbacks of the Law. In the first verses of this section, he gives us the purpose of the law, and lets us know that the law is not for the righteous, but for the lawbreaker and rebel. He then starts to list several aspects of the lawless.
That’s where we pick up with our passage this week. It’s found in 1 Timothy 1:10-11.
Paul’s list continues with several more descriptions. This list seems to be a refresher course on the Ten Commandments. Let’s take a look:
- Lawbreakers and rebels – You shall have no other gods before me (Commandment 1)
- Ungodly and sinners – You shall not have any idols (2)
- Unholy and irreligious – You shall not misuse the name of the Lord (3); Remember the Sabbath (4)
- Those who kill their fathers or mothers – Honor your father and mother (5)
- Murderers – You shall not murder (6)
- Adulterers and perverts – You shall not commit adultery (7)
- Slave traders – You shall not steal (8)
- Liars and perjurers – You shall not give false testimony (9)
- Any other thing – You shall not covet (10)
The last item in the list isn’t just a blanket statement, covering anything that Paul might have forgotten. It more likely stems from the fact that a covetous nature is hard to detect, so Paul doesn’t list a flagrant example.
All of this is blatantly, distinctly, in opposition to the sound doctrine found in the Gospel. So Paul’s point here is to show that the proper use of the law is to reveal to sinners the nature of sin, and display the salvation and rescue offered by the Gospel.
Paul saw this as his mission; he knew that God entrusted him with this crucial message.
And we have been entrusted with it as well. Our job is to point out the dead end of sin, and help others find the Way. It’s a huge responsibility. But God wouldn’t have handed it to us if he didn’t think we were capable.
Take heart. Be strong. Point out the hopelessness of a sinful life and direct people towards the salvation offered by the glorious Gospel.
Do you call out sin when you see it? Or do you ignore it, hoping someone else will take care of it? You can leave your thoughts in the comments section below.
Top Posts For January 2013
January was a busy month for the Randleman family. My father-in-law visited for a week from Colorado, arriving the day before our new son was born. Jude Michael was born on January 8, 2013, and both mother and baby are doing wonderful. You can see some of the birth announcements I created on our family website.
February promises to keep us going pretty steadily as well. Some of my family will be visiting from Missouri this month, and we have a day planned for Disney, as well as checking out some of the other area attractions around this part of the country.
And with a lot of new and exciting things coming soon to our church and ministry, it will be a busy time. DeliberateDads.com is going well also. I created and did all the detail work in getting the DadCast launched and published to iTunes. An introductory podcast went live in late January, and the first full length episode will come out this week. That’s pretty exciting as well!
In case you missed them, here are my top seven posts for the month of January:
- The Difference Between Purpose, Vision, and Mission
- Why You Need To Develop A Philosophy Of Ministry
- Trying A New Bible Reading System
- My Current Philosophy Of Ministry
- Leadership Means Believing In People
- Book Review – Made In Heaven by Ray Comfort and Jeffrey Seto
- Book Review – The True Account Of Adam & Eve by Ken Ham
With the start of a new year, it’s no surprise that my Bible reading posts scored high on the list. New Year’s resolutions always seem to bring these to the top. Three additional posts in this group are from my Foundations of Youth Ministry series. This series continues to amaze me at the amount of traffic it sees. I’m thankful to see that what I’m writing is continuing to generate interest.
The final two on the list are a couple of books I reviewed for New Leaf Publishing and Master Books. These were fascinating books, and will add to our homeschool resource library.
My favorite post written in January was one that I saw published in the Hernando Today newspaper, called How I Revitalize My Faith. That column led to more conversations about writing for the paper in the near future. That’s got me pretty pumped!
Looking forward to what happens in the coming weeks!
If you are a blogger, leave a comment with your top post for the month. If you don’t blog, leave a comment with a favorite post or blog that you read this month.