The next verses in 1 Timothy 3 continue Paul’s description of the qualities of an elder, which he began with the start of chapter three. While in the first three verses Paul listed several characteristics, this week’s passage is totally devoted to one characteristic.

See it for yourself in 1 Timothy 3:4-5:

In the previous three verses, Paul breezed through almost a dozen qualities. But in these two verses, he covers only one quality. This suggests the importance Paul placed on this particular item, although it doesn’t have any other indicators of primacy.

The passage here is simple to understand. Those who lead the church need to demonstrate that they can lead their families well. The way in which a man controls his home will reveal his leadership abilities for the church as well.

In the time when Paul wrote these verses, most churches met in houses, and the most likely leader for the church would have been the head of the household in which the church met, indicating a strong connection between a man’s home management and church management.

But in today’s society, this qualification is just as valid as ever. Any man who aspires to lead the church should demonstrate his ability to lead by the way he leads his family. Paul’s suggestion is that he lead with dignity. The NIV uses the phrase “with proper respect”, indicating the manner in which the children should obey. But the Greek connects the idea of respect or dignity to how the father should be leading instead, and without being overly stern in the process.

Paul’s statement here is clear: A lack of leadership in the home is a disqualification for leadership in the church.

In modern American society, this has huge implications. Too many families are missing a strong father role. The dad may be in the family and yet still not be present in the lives of his children, taking the responsibility as the spiritual leader in his home. This is all too common in our society. Paul’s admonition here is clear. If a man desires to be a leader in the church, his home and family life must display those same leadership qualities.

Does this indicate that he must have children? Not necessarily. But if he does, they must be managed well. That shows that he is able to manages the church well, also. The emphasis here is not on the elder’s ability to dominate as a leader, but on his willingness to take care of the needs of his flock, just as he takes care of the needs of his family.

This is a hard qualification to apply, especially when your children are of the age where they begin to test the boundaries their parents has established. But a father’s role in the family, and his role as a leader of the church, depend upon him displaying God-honoring characteristics, in leading his family, and in leading the church.

Paul’s description of a godly leader concludes in next week’s passage, before he starts describing the similar qualities of the deacon.

Looking at these lists, the possibility of meeting Paul’s expectations can seem overwhelming. But take heart. God will provide the resources and strength for those who are committed to following his guidance, and committed to following him.

If you are a leader in your church, how is your family leadership? What do you do to lead your family well? You can leave your thoughts in the comments section below.

Paul begins the next section of his letter to Timothy with his instructions concerning elders or overseers. Understanding this passage is crucial to selecting good and godly leaders for any church. It’s a pretty detailed explanation, more than anything else Paul address in this brief letter.

Take a look at this week’s passage, the beginning of this section, in 1 Timothy 3:1-3:

Paul begins with the phrase, “Here is a trustworthy saying.” This is the second of four uses of this phrase in 1 Timothy alone, and even more in 2 Timothy and Titus. Paul is using this as a statement indicating emphasis. In effect, Paul is saying, “Listen up. This is important.”

Paul begins his description of the overseers or the elders of the church. Timothy probably didn’t need to appoint elders, like Titus had on the isle of Crete. The church in Ephesus was already established and had leaders. Paul is giving Timothy a picture of what those leaders should look like, especially in light of the false teachings he’s already addressed earlier in the letter.

Paul tells Timothy that the task of being an elder is a very noble thing. But just what is an elder or overseer? Paul uses a word that means “to look after the needs of another.” This is a position that involves ministry and leadership. Paul gives several qualities describing this noble task. Let’s take a look at each one.