Do you want to know what I really hate?

Hearing complainers.

Hearing someone complain just might be the number one thing on my list of pet peeves.

That includes my children complaining about doing their school work or chores, the guy at the bank who complains about having to wait in line too long, and everything in between.

Imagine my horror when I realized this morning that I have been in a season of life where I have been complaining a lot. Too much.

You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you realize you’ve done something bad, and there isn’t a thing you can do about it?

That’s the feeling I had this morning as I read Philippians 2.

Sure, I’ve read it before… dozens of times, if not more. But, for some reason, it really stood out to me this time around.

Here’s the passage that impacted me so forcefully, Philippians 2:14-16a, in the NIV:

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life.

That was a pretty intense wake-up call. Because, as I read that over a couple more times, instances of complaining started flashing through my head from the past few days:

• I complained about the kids leaving the living room a mess.
• I complained about the laundry not being put away.
• I complained about the neighborhood kids invading my house.
• I complained when my kids were gone, invading the neighbor’s house.
• I complained about the rain.
• I complained about the heat.
• I complained about hitting every red light between my house and the church.
• I complained about the guy driving too slowly in front of me.
• I complained about the fact that we haven’t sold our house in Missouri yet.
• I complained about our financial situation.
• I complained about my lack of time.
• I complained about the dinner my wife made last night.
• I complained about my phone’s battery life.

I have complained about everything under the sun over the past few days. The list above is just from a couple minutes of thinking about this. If I spent some more time examining the past few days of my life, I’m sure it would be a lot longer. In fact, I know it would be longer.

So what do I do about it? How can I stop complaining about everything?

I have a few ideas…

Realize that this is just a season in my life.

I know that sounds like I’m excusing my behavior. I’m not. The truth is, I’m not typically a complainer. And I don’t really have a clear grasp on why I’ve slipped into this behavior recently. But it is just a slump. This season will end. Hopefully, I can bring about the end sooner rather than later.

Focus on the positive.

It’s so easy to focus on the negative in our lives. We have to change that focus if we want to eliminate complaining. For example, I complained about the kids toys scattered all over the living room yesterday. Instead of seeing the mess, I need to focus on the kids who are creating the mess. They were putting on a play with their friends. Their props were scattered all over the place. But you could feel the creativity in the air. And you could see the fun they were having written all over their faces. And the fact that I have five kids that I can watch is an incredible blessing.

Change my perspective.

In order to focus on the positive, I need to change how I look at things. Sometimes a different perspective is all that is needed. When I stop to think about how my wife is feeling, as her pregnancy enters into the second trimester, I can’t help but realize that she hasn’t kept up with the laundry like she usually does. When she feels better, she’ll get caught up. In the meantime, she doesn’t need my complaints, and she does need my help.

Understand that no one wants to hear it.

Just like I don’t like to hear complaining, other people hate it as well. When I understand this, I’m more likely to hold my tongue. I’m not the only one dealing with the stress of life; in fact, I have it better than most. And they don’t want to hear my petty grumbling.

Remove myself from the situation.

There are some situations I can’t avoid, such as family issues that need to be confronted. After all, the kids did have to clean up their mess. But there are other situations I can avoid. A couple of days ago, I was in line at the bank behind a guy who was complaining about how long it was taking the tellers to help other customers. I moved to a different line. Problem solved. The same action can help when I’m the one complaining. If I remove myself from the situation, I can clear my head enough to stop complaining about it.

Pray about it.

This may seem like a no brainer, but sometimes we simply don’t think to ask for God’s help in this area. I think that is because we are too caught up in ourselves to realize we need some assistance. When I remember that it’s not all about me, I am freed to seek God, and that always helps.

These are just a few ideas that can help the complaining stop. There are many more. A quick Google search will result in millions of websites dealing with the topic. The problem is that most of these websites are “the power of positive thinking” types of sites. While they can be helpful, most of them miss the root of the issue. Out of the dozen or so that I scanned, not a single one of them identified complaining as a spiritual growth issue. But that’s exactly how Paul categorizes it in Philippians 2.

The simple truth is this: spiritual maladies require spiritual answers. In order to reduce and remove complaining from our lives, we will have to see it for what it is. It’s sin. Paul says that the goal is to become “blameless and pure.” The only way to deal with sin issues is to experience God’s forgiveness and help to overcome them.

My next step today is to spend some time asking for God’s forgiveness and help. And I know tomorrow will be better.

What have you found to be helpful in eliminating or reducing complaining in your life? You can share your thoughts in the comment section below.