Last week, I hosted a give-away of polo shirts, embroidered with the DeliberateDads logo, on both DeliberateDads.com and here at JeffRandleman.com, celebrating the launch of DeliberateDads.com!

Today, I have the honor to announce and congratulate one winning commenter from each site.

Here they are:

From DeliberateDads.com… Ted Warren!

From JeffRandleman.com… David Sparks!

Both winners will be contacted and notified. As soon as I have their shirt sizes, I will place an order for the shirts, and they will be shipped as soon as they are completed.

Thanks for entering, and congratulations!

Congratulations to the two winners of the DeliberateDads polo shirts! Enjoy!

The post DeliberateDads Polo Shirt Winners! appeared first on JeffRandleman.com.

Announcing… DeliberateDads.com!

I want to share with you a little bit of my vision, and the history of how it came about. I also want to give one luck person a DeliberateDads shirt. More on that in a minute.

Some History

This has been a long and arduous road.

It all started a few months ago.

Last summer, while at camp, I witnessed a man bringing his son to check him in. The entire time he was there with his son, more than an hour, I saw him speak to his son only one time. The rest of the time, his phone was stuck to his ear and he was chatting amicably with someone else the entire time, completely ignoring his son. His only words to his son were when his son failed to pass his swim test. The dad’s response was “You’d better pass it tomorrow.” The phone went back to his ear, and he left.

That really bothered me. His son was in my cabin, and it was obvious he was starved for attention; we had a few rough issues with him during the week because of that. But once we got past that, he had a great week!

But the image of that dad completely ignoring his son was etched permanently into my mind. I just didn’t know how I could help him.

Just a few weeks later, I saw a blog post by John Saddington about the niche he saw for good dad blogs.

That post stuck in my mind and wouldn’t leave. All kinds of ideas started popping into my head, unsolicited. After a couple of weeks, I decided to check into some details.

I have to admit, I was kind of like Gideon. One of my first items to check into was to see if the domain name I wanted was available. My prayer went something like this: “God, if it’s available, I know you want me to do this. If not… whew!” I started looking around. To my surprise, the only option I was even interested in (DeliberateDads) was available… in .com, .net, .org, and .info extensions. So I bought them.

My next thought was to protect that idea. So I went back and looked for DeliberateDad domains, without the plural “s” on the end. All four extensions were available for that variation as well. So I bought them.

By the way, all this is happening around 2:00 or 3:00 AM. This was bouncing around so much in my head that I couldn’t sleep.

I was now the proud owner of eight domains with nothing on them. Now to find the right WordPress theme.

I had purchased a theme framework that I intended to use for another site, so I decided to give it a shot here. After a month, and multiple incompatibility issues with some key plug-ins I use, I scrapped it and started over using Standard Theme, which is the framework I use here. I was reminded why I bought this theme in the first place. It’s simply the best option I’ve found.

After rebuilding the site, I was more satisfied than I could have imagined with the way things were turning out.

I developed my basic structure, transferred a few posts from here, wrote a few more, and now it’s ready to unveil!

My Vision

As a father of six (almost), the topic of dadhood is never far from my mind. I don’t want to be just a dad. I don’t even want to be just a good dad. I want to be the best dad I can be for my kids.

I want to be able to share resources that I find that help me out. I will read, watch, explore and find as many great helps for dads that I can and review them, posting links so you can purchase your own. When possible, I hope to convince many of the publishers to offer a free copy or two through DeliberateDads.

I want to share my experiences with my kids. My goal is not to create a nice synopsis of my weekend getaway or last year’s vacation. No, I want to share opportunities that I find helpful to my dadhood journey, and maybe you will also.

In 2013, I’m planning to launch the Dadcast, a weekly podcast dedicated to helping dads become the best dads that they can be.

I want to be available to help you become a great dad in any way possible. Whether that comes from the resources and articles I share on DeliberateDads, or it comes in the form of speaking to your church or organization, I want to be used by God to build dads into great dads, in any way that I can.

A Give-Away

In order to celebrate the launch of DeliberateDads.com, I am giving away two Polo-style shirts with the DeliberateDads logo embroidered on them. One will be given to a randomly selected commenter on this post. The other will be selected randomly from the commenters on the Grand Opening post at DeliberateDads.com. That means you’ll have two opportunities to win, although you can only win one of the shirts.

I can vouch for their comfort. I ordered one already to see how they looked, and am greatly impressed with the level of quality and style. Made of a soft pima cotton, these shirts come in a navy blue color, with the DeliberateDads logo on the left chest area. The style is slightly different from the shirt shown here.

In the near future, you will have the ability to purchase these shirts, along with fleece jackets, hats and more! That’s pretty exciting!

Here are a few more specifics of the give-away:

• You must leave a comment in the comment section below telling me about the best example of a dad you know/knew.
• You must retweet this post on Twitter or on Facebook, with a link to DeliberateDads.com. You can use something like this: I just entered to win a DeliberateDads.com polo at the DeliberateDads.com Grand Opening! Enter to win: http://www.deliberatedads.com.
• The winner will be selected at random from the comments section of this post using an automated generator, such as Random.org. Comment as many times as you like, however, each person will be entered into the contest only once.
• Once the winners have been selected, they will be contacted, asking for a shirt size. I will then order the shirts, and deliver them to the winners when I receive them from the embroiderer.
• The contest will end at midnight on Sunday, December 9. The winner will be announced on Monday, December 10.

In Closing

I would like to ask a favor from you. Would you consider passing around a link to DeliberateDads.com to any dads you know? Whether that is in the form of a link on your site or blog, or a blurb in your church or organization newsletter, or a post on your Facebook or Twitter stream, or even just by word of mouth, I would greatly appreciate your help in spreading the word about what I hope and pray becomes an excellent tool for building a generation of dads who are focused on being the best dads that they can be. Thanks for your help in this.

Also, if you subscribe to this blog by email or RSS, consider subscribing to DeliberateDads as well. There will be some great stuff posted there in the coming weeks. You should see my list of ideas and topics! I’m pretty excited about it!

Who is the best example of a dad you’ve known? Is it your dad? Or someone else? You can share your thoughts in the comment section below.

The post New Dad Resource: Deliberate Dads! And A Give-Away! appeared first on JeffRandleman.com.

After a few more details that needed to get ironed out than I expected, that resource is finally just about ready to unveil.

And so, on December 1, come check out what God has laid on my heart to do. Make sure you don’t miss it; there will be some pretty cool give-aways as well!

I’m really excited about it, and I can see God doing some amazing things through this opportunity. In fact, some of those things have already begun.

As I stated before, this will be an online ministry resource that will help dads become great dads. I want to see dads step up to the plate in the lives of their kids. I want to see dads become intentional and deliberate in becoming the best dad that they can be.

This resource will offer articles and resources that can help dads become better dads, to become great dads. I will share what I’ve found to be effective in my journey as a dad. I will review resources that have helped me, and provide links to purchase resources that I find to be excellent.

On December 1, come take a look and see what’s been going on in my head for the past few months.

Stay tuned! On December 1, check out the new resource for dads!

The post New Dad Resource Coming Soon! appeared first on JeffRandleman.com.

This is part of the The Dad Toolbox series, providing tools and resources to be a great dad. Read more from the series!

There are certain things in life that are worth being passionate about.

One of those things is become an all star dad to my children. I believe that the calling to be, not just a dad, but a great dad is one of the top three calls God places in a man’s life, with only our calling to be God’s child and the call to be a great husband ranking higher in our list of priorities.

God’s design places us in families. Every one of us has a mother. Each of us has a father. God wired us to be a part of a family unit.

Certainly, there are people who aren’t part of a family. Maybe they’ve passed away. Maybe there is some relational estrangement. Or even abandonment. But the fact remains, God designed us to be in relationships with other people, and the pattern he created is the family unit.

God has placed us in these specific families for a purpose. We should receive the love and attention that we need relationally here. And we should give love and attention in return. Regardless of what our job or career may be, I think our first level of ministry is within the family atmosphere. And I think dads are a critical element to the successful family.

Sadly, many kids in our world today are growing up without any great family relationships, especially from their fathers. Their father may be gone, leaving them in a single parent home. Or maybe their father is there, but he’s disengaged from his children.

Either way, as a youth minister, this grieves me.

Let me give you an example. As I was writing this, my kids are playing out in the driveway, riding bikes and skateboards with the kids in the neighborhood. As I stepped outside to watch them for a moment, one of the boys from from around the corner asked me if I could fix the chain on his bike. He said his dad could do it, but he just didn’t have time. So I fixed it. It took all of five minutes, and got my fingers a little bit greasy.

Now I can’t judge this dad for his actions, or rather, lack of action. I’ve used the same excuse with my kids before. It’s easy to play the “I don’t have the time” card. But if our kids are going to grow up and be successful at life, it’s going to take some involvement on our part as dads.

And so I’ve been thinking: what can I do to help counter this in my corner of the world?

I’ve come up with an idea. I am creating an online ministry resource that will help dads become great dads. I want to see dads step up to the plate in the lives of their kids. I want to see dads become intentional and deliberate in becoming the best dad that they can be.

This resource will offer articles and resources that can help dads become better dads, to become great dads. I will share what I’ve found to be effective in my journey as a dad. I will review resources that have helped me, and provide links to purchase resources that I find to be excellent.

I can see this becoming very hands-on in my own community and church. I’ve already “polled” a few people, asking if they see a need for this. Just the other day, I struck up a conversation with the A/C repairman about my kids and his kids. I shared with him a few of my ideas as he worked on my air conditioner. He left excited about the possibilities and the tools that can help him be the dad he was created to be.

Another conversation happened at a Kiwanis meeting last Friday, with similar results.

That excites me! I see an opportunity to really help dads, both here in Florida and around the country, even the world, online.

The website is almost ready to launch. And when it is unveiled in the very near future, you will be the first to know.

And when it does, I would simply ask you to check it out. Let me know your thoughts. And pass it on. Share it with the dads you know, giving them access to a resource that will hopefully help them to become better at this dad thing.

As a result, this will be the last post in The Dad Toolbox here at JeffRandleman.com. All the content has already been duplicated to the new site, and more is being added all the time. My focus here will continue to be on matters of life, leadership and ministry, with the occasional book review thrown in.

I’m looking forward to the potential I see in the dads I encounter being realized!

What are the dads like in your life? Your dad? How are you (or your husband) as a dad to your kids? What is the greatest need you’ve seen in this area? You can share your thoughts in the comment section below.

The post New Dad Resource Coming Soon! appeared first on JeffRandleman.com.

This is part of the The Dad Toolbox series, providing tools and resources to be a great dad. Read more from the series!

If I had to place my finger on the one crucial element that it takes to be a great dad, it would be the idea of intentionality.

In order to be a great dad, you have to be focused on being a great dad. You have to be intentional.

It’s too easy to just go with the flow, to stay in the rut.

For example, the other day I came home from the church where I work. It had been a long day. I had got a lot accomplished: planning our youth ministry fall kick-off, adding some elements to the church website that I administrate, and a bunch of other stuff. And, since I use a standing desk, my feet were feeling pretty tired.

My usual routine is to come home, kick off my shoes, and relax for a little while. And by relax, I really mean that I don’t relax, because with five kids, and another on the way, there is no such thing as relaxation. My one year old girl was in my lap, showing me the oatmeal on her shirt. My ten year old daughter was asking me something about her science book. And in the midst of this, within moments of walking in the door, this conversation happened:

Titus (my eight year old son): Dad, can we go find a geocache?

Me: Hi, Titus.

Titus: Dad, can we go find one?

Me: Hi, Titus.

Titus: Oh… Hi! Now can we go find a geocache?

Jadon (my three year old son): Can I go find a zeocass too?

And so, I loaded up my two boys, and off we went to find a couple of “zeocasses”. We found two, and got rained on.

But here’s the thing: both my boys absolutely loved it, and the fact that I took them geocaching in the rain showed them that I value them.

It would have been really easy to say no. The weather is threatening. I’m tired. I just got home. I’m not really thrilled about searching for a geocache with a three year old in the mud right now.

It would have been easy to stay in the rut, sit down, and do the same evening routine as usual.

In order to be a great dad, you have to step beyond the usual. You have to step beyond yourself. You have to be intentional.

Intentionality is critical to being a great dad.

If you refuse to make time for your children, you will lose them. I’m not saying that they will go wild, run away, and join a cult. Although that has happened. But there are so many things in the world vying for their attention, seeking their allegiance, that if you don’t fill that role in their lives, something else will. And you will not be satisfied with the results.

Remember the old song, Cat’s In The Cradle? Written by Harry Chapin in 1974, the song is about a dad who never has time for his son, even though the son is clamoring for his attention. The son wants to be just like his dad. But by the end of the song, the roles have reversed, and now the father wants to spend time with his son, who he never sees, but the son never seems to have the time. The son has become just like the dad.

If that father had been intentional about being a great dad, and intentional about being an impacting influence in his son’s life, the result would have been incredibly different.

That song saddens me. Not because I feel bad for that man and his son. No, they are fictional. But they represent a reality that is far too common.  And that saddens me, especially when I see kids desperately seeking the attention of their dads in my community, and not finding it.

Dads, step it up.

Be the influence in the lives of your children that they need you to be.

Be intentional!

What do you do to be intentional in the lives of your children? You can share your thoughts in the comment section below.

The post Being An Intentional Dad appeared first on JeffRandleman.com.

This is part of the The Dad Toolbox series, providing tools and resources to be a great dad. Read more from the series!

Last week, we took a look at the first two P’s of dadhood. We saw that practice and patience are necessary elements to building a legacy as a great dad to your kids. The only way to get better at this dad thing is to do it over and over. But don’t get discouraged, be patient.

There are two more aspects to be considered though. While the first two P’s were somewhat simple, these next two P’s take us deeper into our training as dads.

The third P is Persistence

Persistence, at first glance, looks a lot like patience and practice put together. But even though it incorporates some of both of those aspects, it deserves a closer look on its own.

Persistence means pressing on. You and I will become great dads because of persistence. Nothing of any significance happens by chance; and that includes raising our kids. When we became fathers, we accepted a very heavy and significant responsibility to raise our children in the very best way that we can. But if we choose not to do so, others will gladly step in and do so. The world is full of predators looking for a victim. And these predators can come in a variety of forms: people, addictions, crime and violence, even apathy.

In order to become a great dad, we must keep at it at all times. The stakes are too high to relax as a parent, even for a short time.

Calvin Coolidge, the 30th president of the United States, said “Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”

Stick to it, Dad! Don’t ever give up. Give your best; give your all; and then give some more. Your kids are worth it!

The fourth P is Perspective

Sometimes the best thing you can do as a dad is keep a proper perspective. It’s tough to do so all the time though. You may have had to set aside your dreams and plans for your life because of your kids. You certainly have to make daily sacrifices in order to be a great dad.

But that’s all okay. Keeping the proper perspective enables you to parent strategically. I cannot approach parenting my three year old in the same manner as I do my thirteen year old. That doesn’t even make any sense, although too many dads do just that. They treat their children either as older than they really are, forcing maturity before they are ready, or they treat them as younger than they are, creating feelings of insecurity and inadequacy.

But by keeping the proper perspective, we can make the right choices, and that is crucial.

As a youth minister, I frequently hear parents say things such as “When our kids grow up and leave, we plan to…” I don’t like hearing this, to be honest. By focusing on what they want to do after their kids move out, they are missing out on the things that are happening with their kids now. And later, they will look back and regret it.

Keeping the proper perspective means being present in the moment. Live in the now. Celebrate the fact that you have kids daily. If you have more than one, celebrate the fact that they are each at different stages of growth and development. But don’t wish them out of those stages.

My wife and I miss the days when our older children were learning how to walk and talk. And we enjoy watching our younger kids learn those things. But we also love that fact that our older children now have different interests and passions that we can share with them. By keeping all this in perspective, I can be a better dad. But when I lose that perspective, I miss out, and my kids do as well.

Persistence and perspective are essential elements to being a great dad, just as practice and patience are. By learning how to apply these four elements, you and I can become a dad that will leave a lasting legacy!

And that’s a great goal to strive for!

If you are a dad, rate yourself on a 1 to 10 scale in each of these areas. How do you think you do in these areas? You can share your thoughts in the comment section below.

The post The Four P’s Of Dadhood – The Next Two P’s appeared first on JeffRandleman.com.

This is part of the The Dad Toolbox series, providing tools and resources to be a great dad. Read more from the series!

It doesn’t take a whole lot to be a father.

Biologically speaking, that is…

The truth is, just about any man can be a father. But to be a great father… Well, that’s a whole different picture.

I’m not going to tell you that I have it all figured out. I know just how often I fail as a dad. Those moments are very apparent to me.

But, as the father of five kids, and a sixth one on the way, I have found a few things to be crucial elements in becoming a successful dad.

First, let’s define the term “successful”. For me, to be a success as a father means that my kids know, without a doubt, that I love them. It means that I give them the tools they will need to be successful themselves, no matter what they strive for. It means that I build in them character, and model it in my own life. It means that I teach them how to stand strong in their faith, becoming a man or a woman that rests solidly upon God, in every area of their lives.

The key to helping my children become what I want them to become, what God wants them to become, is to model those qualities myself. And that’s no easy task.

Over the last thirteen years, I’ve identified at least four key components of successful dad-hood. These four characteristics are necessary to develop in my own life, as I become the dad God created me to be. And they are necessary in my life as I strive to raise my kids in a Godly fashion, helping them become the persons that God created them to be.

The first P is Practice

Just as with anything worth doing in life, being a dad is worth doing well. But in order to do it well, it requires practice. That goes for anything, really. If I want to become great at golf, I have to practice my swing, my approach, my putting, and numerous other aspects of the game. The more I accomplish my golf swing correctly, the more it becomes second nature, it becomes natural.

The same is true with being a dad. It takes practice. You will make mistakes. But you correct them, make adjustments where necessary, and keep working at it.

For example, when my first daughter was born, I’d had very little exposure to babies. I didn’t know how to hold one. I didn’t know what to do when they cried. I for sure didn’t know what to do when they needed changed. My wife could tell the difference between a hungry cry, a wet diaper cry, and a sleepy cry. All I heard was crying. I had no idea what to do. When we visited friends who had newborns, I would refuse to hold them, just looking on from over my wife’s shoulder.

All that changed when Hannah was born. I was suddenly thrust into the reality of having a baby who needed to be held and loved. Even though I was uncomfortable, even scared, holding her at first, I soon became more adjusted to it. And now, I have no qualms at all holding a baby, whether it’s mine or someone else’s.

I practiced.

Practice is necessary in virtually every aspect of being a great dad. When my kids need discipline. Or when they need comfort, like when my daughter’s hamster died this morning. Or when my son feels ignored by the other kids in the neighborhood. Or when my youngest son feels left out by the others because he’s only three.

The more I practice dad-hood, the better I become at it. The more time I spend with my kids, the better I am for it. And they will see that I love and value them, and remember that I took the time to be a great dad.

The second P is Patience

Being a great dad requires patience in two main areas. I must be patient with my kids. And I must be patient with myself.

I must be patient with my kids. Children don’t know how to live life. They’ve had very little, if any, experience. As a result, they will make mistakes. Sometimes, those will be accidental. Other times, they will do things on purpose. Those times require discipline. That’s another topic.

What I want to address with this idea are the times they mess up accidentally.

Take my three year old son, for example. He is in the final stages of potty training. He can do it. He knows how. He knows when. And he knows that he should. He just doesn’t want to stop what he’s doing to go inside and use the bathroom, or he’s half asleep. Earlier today, he was so preoccupied playing the Wii that he had an accident. He simply didn’t want to stop playing the game for any reason.

At times like those, it’s easy to get exasperated with him. It definitely wasn’t in the plans to give him a bath in the middle of the afternoon. We had other things going on.

What my son needs is my patience. And my initial reaction was to get on to him. But, thankfully, I held my tongue, we got him cleaned up, and we moved on. He knew I was disappointed, because he came to me, looked up at me with his big, three-year-old puppy-dog eyes, and whispered, “Sorry, Dad.” I wrapped him up in a hug, and that moment with my son became a precious thing. But we wouldn’t have experienced that if I had responded impatiently.

Not only must I be patient with my kids, I must be patient with myself. Often, I get frustrated with my failure to respond like a great dad would respond. It shows in my demeanor and attitude. But my kids think that I’m frustrated with them, not knowing the difference.

My desire it to be a great dad all the time. But the reality is that I fail… often. More than I’d like. But this goes back to the first P: I must be patient as I practice being a great dad. And the practice will pay off, because I will become better as a dad. Next year I will be better than I am right now; and right now, I am better than I was a year ago.

Leaving a great legacy as a dad in your kids’ lives is well worth the effort it takes. It takes practice. It takes patience. In my next post, we will take a closer look at the remaining two P’s: persistence and perspective.

In the meantime, keep up the great work, Dad!

If you are a dad, rate yourself on a 1 to 10 scale in each of these areas. How do you think you do in these areas? You can share your thoughts in the comment section below.

The post The 4 P’s Of Dadhood – The First Two P’s appeared first on JeffRandleman.com.

This is part of the The Dad Toolbox series, providing tools and resources to be a great dad. Read more from the series!

My family is getting larger.

We are expecting our next child in January 2013.

But with children comes responsibility. That seems so obvious, but so many dads have missed that somehow.

Let me say it again: With children comes responsibility.

A few weeks ago, I took some kids, including one of my daughters, to church camp. I watched a dad arrive with his son, unload the luggage, register, and then leave, all without taking his phone from his ear. The only time he even spoke to his son was after he failed his swim test. He pulled the phone away and growled “You’d better pass it tomorrow!”

As I got to know this boy throughout the week, it quickly became apparent that this was pretty normal in his life. He craved attention from the faculty, especially the men. From that one moment, it was easy to see that this boy had a father, but he didn’t have a dad. This man is failing his son, and he probably doesn’t even know it.

This is an area in my life where I do not want to be passive. I do not want to fail in this. In order to be a great father, I must be active and take the initiative in the lives of my kids.

I must be intentional.

And that means I must continually reinforce to them that they are one of my top priorities.

Here are some things I’ve found helpful in communicating that to my children.

Let them see my love for God.

My kids have to know that my number one priority is my relationship with God. My kids frequently see me doing my daily Bible reading, and know that I prioritize prayer. When they know that I focus on this, they desire to as well.

Let them see my love for their mother.

I tell Heather often that I love her in front of the kids. They see me kiss and hug my wife often. They watch how I treat her, how I speak to her, and hear what I say about her. Once, my oldest daughter witnessed an argument between my wife and I. Later, I found her crying in her room. When asked why she was crying, she responded, “I’m afraid you are getting a divorce.” Trust me, that is not an option in our marriage, but my daughter didn’t know that. My kids feel more secure when they see our marriage is secure.

Do not let work steal me from an active role in their lives.

I’m in ministry. I work with a church. It is easy to get bogged down doing stuff. There’s always something else, something more, to do. I refuse to sacrifice my family on the altar of “doing ministry.” My family schedule makes it onto my calendar before ministry events do. Granted, there has to be some flexibility occasionally, but for the most part, this is a hard and fast rule.

Listen to them.

Too many fathers fail right here. When their child talks to them, the absentmindedly respond with grunts and uh-huhs. They have no idea what was just said to them. When one of my kids wants to talk with me, I stop what I’m doing, look directly into their eyes, and give them one hundred percent of my attention. This simple action communicates more to them than almost anything else I do.

Do things with them.

My kids love to go geocaching. But when we don’t have the opportunity to find a few local caches, my son like to hide his own around the yard, giving clues about how to find them. His sisters go look, and that’s great, but you should see his happiness when I go look for them. Whether I spend time with them one on one, or with some or all of them, they love Dad-time.

Encourage them.

My daughter wants to learn to play guitar. She’ll be taking a class through our homeschool co-op this fall. I told her that I think this is an excellent thing to do. Another daughter is learning violin. And while the noises floating around our home are less than musical right now, one day they will be beautiful. And I communicate this to them frequently.

Be positive.

We are in the late stages of potty training with one of our kids. He can do it. He just doesn’t want to quit playing to make the trip to the bathroom. And it’s pretty frustrating to have to change his clothes, or change his sheets, or clean up a mess multiple times a day. It’s tempting to get on to him for this, to punish. But positivity make a bigger difference. And so I have to remember to watch my tone after he has an accident.

Make ordinary things fun.

Many parents have a fight to get their kids to eat their vegetables. Not around our table, at least most of the time. I eat mine slowly, giving the kids, especially the younger ones, the opportunity to “beat Dad” in this.

Prioritize family times.

We try to have a regular family night. We play games, or we watch a TV show together. We might go to the beach. But I’ve learned that “once in a while” doesn’t cut it here. We have to do things together regularly. And we must be intentional about scheduling this time together, or each of us will get busy doing our own thing.

Protect my day off.

I actually schedule an all day appointment on my calendar on my day off. I label it family. That way, there’s no chance of taking on other stuff during that time. Sometimes we plan a trip or activity. Other times, we stay home. Regardless, we do it together. And the kids don’t play with the neighborhood kids on this day, either. Whatever we do, we do it together.

I tell them I love them often.

As a kid, my dad didn’t tell me he loved me. I knew he did, but I rarely heard him say it. I’m not sure he knew how to communicate that. And while I knew that he did, in fact, love me, I was almost desperate to hear it from him. This is something I make sure my kids hear from me, multiple times a day. I tell them often. And I will even say it in front of their friends. It embarrasses them, but I overheard my son’s friend say that he thinks it’s really cool. My bet is this friend doesn’t hear it much from his own dad.

I hug them often.

Unless I’m traveling because of my ministry, my kids know to expect hugs from me. Lots of them, often for no reason at all. I want my kids to never question whether or not I love them.

I want to be a success as a father. But in order to excel in this area, it takes work, just as it does for anything else. If I were to decide to become great at tennis, I’d have to spend a lot of time playing the game. to win a marathon, it takes a lot of time spent running. The same is true in parenting. In order to be a great parent, it takes practice, patience, persistence, and perspective. That is the subject of my next post in this series.

What do you do to communicate value and love to your kids? You can share your thoughts in the comment section below.

The post 12 Ways To Be A Great Dad (Or Mom) appeared first on JeffRandleman.com.

There’s an epidemic in America.

It’s true. Look around.

Father’s are failing to be the Dad their kids need them to be.

Some father’s just don’t care.

Others don’t know how.

And still others are just clueless.

My desire to to be a great Dad. I want my kids to know without a doubt that I love them. I want my kids to feel valued and encouraged by me. I want my kids to have a solid relationship with me all of their lives. And I want to teach and model to my kids how to have a solid relationship with God.

But that won’t happen unless I am intentional about making it happen.

And as I learn and grow in this area, I want to share that information with other dads.

I want them to be a great dad too.

This post will serve as the landing page for a series of posts on how to be a great dad. Here you will find the links to each of the individual posts, as they are written, and navigate to them quickly and easily.

My hope and prayer is that my experiences, and the things I learn from them are an encouragement and a help to you, just as they are to me. I’m looking forward to this series, and I hope you are too.

Here is a list, linked to each post. As I publish each one, I will link to it from here.

• Why A Daughter Needs A Dad
• Why A Son Needs A Dad
• 12 Ways To Be A Great Dad
• The 4 P’s Of Dadhood – The First Two P’s
• The 4 P’s Of Dadhood – The Next Two P’s
• My Go-To Resources For Dads
• Being An Intentional Dad
• The Best Gift You Can Give Your Kids

The post The Dad Toolbox appeared first on JeffRandleman.com.

I stumbled across this video over the weekend. It’s good enough to share here. Enjoy!

As a father of five, with another due around the first of the year, this is amusingly accurate.  I can’t even begin to imagine all the things I’ve missed out on because my finances and resources went to family events or clothes or dental work or camp tuitions or…  And you know what?  I really don’t care what I may have missed.  I have an incredible family.

Todd, from Familyman Ministries, calls this  phenomenon “dad cool”. If you’re a father, I recommend that you subscribe to his newsletter.  He always has some great stuff going on.

What did you do to celebbrate Father’s Day? You can share your thoughts in the comment section below.

The post The Dad Life appeared first on JeffRandleman.com.